“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light."
-Matthew 11:28-30
Rest. Easy. Light.
Most of us, myself included, feel tired, burdened, and heavy.
Whereas I know that I have so many ways in which I can grow in my relationship with Christ, I consider myself one of His disciples.
But, this rest of which Christ speaks? This ease? This light?
I have so much I still need to learn, and so much growth that still needs to occur.
Ancora imparo...
About 7 years ago, in my sixth year as a principal, I adopted a motto at the beginning of the school year that I hoped would motivate my efforts at the school: all in. I would be all in for Incarnation Catholic School. If we needed a sub, I would step in. A duty to cover? All in. School representation on a committee? Count me in.
I foolishly thought that the way that I could help push the school to new levels of excellence was through more of me.
I lasted about 6 weeks before I burnt out.
Tired. Burdened. Heavy.
Frustrated and confused, I argued with God, "Why won't you help me carry this? I've poured my entire self into this ministry. Why won't you bless this?"
He replied, "Take my yoke upon you."
I responded, "I have a yoke, why won't you just help me with mine?"
Christ repeated, "Take my yoke upon you."
"I don't want that one, I have this one! Help me!" I cried out.
"That's not for you. Take mine," He lovingly encouraged.
Pridefully, my grip tightened and I turned away.
"Take me. I never asked you to be all in for this school. I need you to be all in for me."
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It was in this moment that I recognized, through the wise counsel of a trusted friend, that I had idolized my ministry. Instead of putting Christ above all else, I put my work as a Catholic school principal ahead of my relationship with Him as well as my primary vocation to my wife and kids.
Tears streamed down my face. Grateful for this newfound clarity, I begged for the next steps. I was used to my yoke, and for however much I couldn't handle it, it had become comfortable. I didn't know another way.
"Be all in for Me," Christ commanded. "If that entails, which at times it will, that you devote time and energy and expend yourself for this school, then do it. But, do it for Me. Be all in for Me."
Humbly, I consented. Relieved, I experienced a lightness and ease I hadn't experienced in quite some time. The Sacrament of Reconciliation offered healing, a new beginning, and efficacious grace.
As a result, my mind raced for ways that I needed to preference my relationship with Jesus and in turn my wife and children. Your vocation is as a husband and father; therefore, stop working in the evenings so that you can be more present to your family. Keep holy the sabbath: stop working all day on Sunday and devote time for your faith and your family. Tithe: give your time, talent, and treasure to your God, and let Him allocate it to your ministry and elsewhere. Recommit to the Eucharist, Reconciliation, and other distinctly Catholic practices, including the Rosary. Bring others into a deeper relationship with Christ through your interactions and your position as a principal.
Incarnation Catholic School didn't need more of me. Clearly. It needed more of Christ.
And, much like how Christ gave the beloved disciple - and in turn His Church - His Mother to guide us, protect us, and to bring us into a deeper relationship with her Son, Mother Mary came to me during this same season of my life to help ensure I didn't go running back to my old yoke and so that I could - finally - experience rest...
