Family First

As Catholics, Canon Law states that parents are the primary educators of their children (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2223). As Catholic educators within Catholic schools, it is incumbent upon that we partner with parents and families to ensure that the parents' place is maintained and supported in the education of their child(ren) in and through the Catholic faith.

Catholic schools could do more to help engage parents and families. Not only does it uphold Church teaching, but it is also sound educational philosophy. Recently, an article by Bruce Feiler was published in Parade Magazine that dealt with various aspects of the role that parents and families play in the formation of their children.

Most of it makes sense. Children's resilience is strengthened by having an understanding of their family's history. To encourage conversation and draw your family closer together, arrange the seats in your living room in a circle instead of all facing the TV. Siblings between the ages of 3 and 7 fight three to four times each hour! Girls delay the onset of sexual activity if they have had a close relationship with their fathers. Dads can also inspire greater confidence and better social skills in both sons and daughters with whom they have a strong relationship.

Other pieces of the excerpt of Fieler's book, "The Secrets of Happy Families" are much more eye opening and somewhat counter-intuitive: have a vote before discussing an issue in order to make the best decision possible; celebrating the success of a spouse is more valuable for the relationship than supporting him/her during a difficult time; kids should have a role in picking their own punishments (something we do at ICS - see "Discipline to Disciple"); its more beneficial for a child to be given freedom with his/her allowance than to be forced to save, spend and/or offer up in service.

One excerpt is astonishing: children will need to learn 3,000 new words each year from 3rd to 12th grades! This makes our work in transition to the Common Core State Standards and its emphasis on reading and Language Arts.

As parents, we are not only the primary educators, we are also the most important. So, spend time with your kids and family and stay up until 1:23 a.m. to do silly things like write blogs instead of doing it while they are awake.

May God strengthen families and may the model of the Holy Family, which graciously accepted the gift of the Incarnation, inspire greater devotion, dedication and love to each other and to God.

And may God grant me patience tomorrow when I'm sleep deprived because I put, and always will, my family first.

Got Inspiration?

At a recent diocesan event, Fr. Kenneth Malley, Pastor of St. Timothy Catholic Church in Lutz, FL asked me how I stay full. How did I find inspiration in order to be full enough to minister to others. I wish I had been wise enough to turn the table on him, but instead I fumbled through a few clichéd answers. In reflecting on his question for the past few weeks, here is a more comprehensive answer:

Scripture:

So strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees. -Hebrews 12:12

I say I will not mention him, I will no longer speak in his name. But then it is as if fire is burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding back, I cannot! -Jeremiah 20:9

For God did not give you a spirit of fear but one of power, love and self-control. -2 Timothy 1:7

Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more. -Luke 12:48

“I have come to set the earth on fire, and how I wish it were already blazing! -Luke 12:49

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith. -Hebrews 12:1-2

You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. -Matthew 5:14

Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all those engaged in selling and buying there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who were selling doves. -Matthew 21:12

Therefore, my brothers, let us set an example for our kindred. Their lives depend on us, and the defense of the sanctuary, the temple, and the altar rests with us. -Judith 8:24

Songs:

Here are two:

"I couldn't look up, but God looked down."

"I won't waste any more time. My life's Yours, it is not mine. Use me, Lord, no matter what's at stake."

Quotes:

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. Begin it now.

-Goethe

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.

-Blessed Mother Teresa

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

-J.R.R. Tolkien, from The Two Towers

So strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees...

...and let us continue. 

Lore of the Ring

Part 2 of "Conviction"

In limiting the possible places that my lost wedding ring could have been, I had narrowed the area of the park down to three spots:

1. The sandbox(!)
2. The bottom of the slide (I take turns)
3. Underneath the monkey bars

A few other locations crossed my mind - under the swing set where I do pull-ups, under the monkey bars where I also do pull-ups or anywhere within the playground equipment area - but I had done enough tests upon my return home that night that I had figured that my leg had to have reached a certain height / angle in order for the ring to have fallen out of my pocket. My legs really never attained this angle in these locales; therefore, my ring had to have been in one of the big three.

As already mentioned, I awoke early the next morning to scour some of these spots with the aid of a shovel and laundry basket. I would shovel a bit of the sand or playground mulch into a laundry basket in order to spread out the bits and pieces of the load to more easily look for my treasure. Then, assuming that the contents of my shovel were treasureless, I would move that load of earth to another spot and continue my search.

So, if you can imagine the scene, it is barely daybreak and I'm at a playground with a shovel and laundry basket. I'm amazed that the running man actually stayed to help me search with these utensils in my hand and at my feet. But he did and he not only helped me look, he prayed with me.

"You're going to find it," he said as he ran back into the ether.

And, like I said in an earlier blog, I did. But, it wasn't just because this stranger and I prayed about it. It wasn't just because I prayed about it multiple times that morning and early afternoon.

It was because of a metal detector...and the prayers.

Tampa has only one place to rent a metal detector. I called right at 10:30 when it opened. I asked if they had any machines available for rent and if so, if they would be open in about an hour. The owner of the shop explained that he would be at the store until about 12:00 p.m. before going out of town for a few days. I pleaded my case, "I'll have it back by the end of the day!" "How much would it cost to keep it for that long?" "Is there any way that I could pick it up before you leave and put it in some sort of after hours drop-box?" Luckily, the store owner confided that if I could get it before 12:00 that he could meet me back at the store by 3:00 before he headed out to the airport.

"I'll have it back at 3:00!"

After a trip to the local metal detector store and a quick tutorial on how to use it, I was off to the playground. I brought the shovel and basket again to scare off any would be treasure hunters in search of my ring and/or use it to dig and unearth my find.

I wanted to rule out the other two areas prior to diving into the sandbox so I went to work on the bottom of the slide. Getting too close to the equipment caused the detector to chime, but it didn't take me long to figure out where these nuts and bolts were located and that the noises were not betraying the location of my precious.

Next, I went to work on the area under the monkey bars. It was void of any fasteners so it was a pretty easy and unproductive sweep.

My heart sank at the thought of the sandbox. "Save it for last," I game planned. Instead of entering the desert, I headed to the other parts of the playground area that I knew Elizabeth and I had covered the night prior. A nickel and loose screw was all that I could find under and in between the various steps, ledges and rails.

I looked to see if there was anywhere else that I could scour before tackling the sandbox. We didn't chase in the field. We didn't run to the top of the hill. We only stayed on one side of the playground. There had to be somewhere else to check before the sandbox.

Under the swing set. I highly doubted it was there - I didn't swing the night before - but it was a diversion and another place to exhaust before the box.

I grabbed my detector and gave it a quick scan. Immediately I got a beep different than any before. I swung back over the spot that created the noise. I made it again!

I looked around for my shovel and basket, but noticed out of the corner of my eye I noticed my ring. It was half-submerged, half-emerged from the ground. It had been in plain sight the entire time but it took me spending hours of my time and lots of my money to search and secure a metal detector for me to find it.

The same is true of our faith. I could have believed that my ring would be found (and I did) but I would not have found it without actually looking. Our faith is dead without works. My ring was lost without the metal detector. Faith is important and was a necessary component to give me the hope, calm and confidence that my ring would be found. But, I also needed to work to find it.

Our God doesn't just want us to pray. He wants us to take action as well.

Faith and works.

Faith in our works.

Faith that it works.

Faith that He works.

Always and all ways. Forever. Amen.

Know Your Why

I came across this phrase earlier today while looking around a sporting goods store. Plastered across a t-shirt, it caught my eye. Not only am I a fan of t-shirts, but the phrase peeked my interest. Know your why. Upon returning home a quick Google search revealed that those words were made famous in the sporting world earlier this year when Robert Griffin, III used it as a motivational slogan in his Washington Redskins' locker room. A more extensive look at the phrase betrayed that the concept behind the phrase has roots in books, speeches and various other forums.

The premise is the same: know why you do anything, everything, nothing. Why do you read this blog? Why do you send your child(ren) to a Catholic School? Why are you the principal of a Catholic School? Why do you listen to certain music? Why do you workout? Why do you believe in God? Why do you do the things you do, say the things you say, invest time in the things that take your time? 

Why?

In schools, as I've mentioned recently, we get so caught up in the latest program or teaching strategy or textbook series or holding on to certain curricular content or pleasing parents or having power that we sometimes forget why we do what we do? As Commissioner Bennett said, if we can strip away everything else and get to the heart of ensuring that all children learn at the highest possible level, our approach may be much more effective. If we can see the purpose behind putting objectives on the board or designing formative assessments that link back to those assessments or in how we scaffold from lower to higher order skills we may be much more successful in our pursuit of educating kids. Being intentional with content, approach, assessment, time management, classroom management is one of the most basic ways to find success in a classroom. 

It seems to be a good approach to our faith lives as well. Know your why. Use this period of Lent to return to the reasons that you believe in Jesus. Use this period to strip away all everything else and get to the heart of being the best possible Christian you can be. Be intentional in your beliefs. Have a purpose to your actions, words, and time. Realize that everything you do is an opportunity to show reverence to God and allow that to shape you. Allow it to change you. 

Know your why and start becoming the person you were created to be. 

Know your Why and realize that your why is to love Him.

Know your why. Love Him. 

Act. 

Speak. 

Live.

Love. 

Know your why. Come alive. 

Conviction

In late 2012 I lost my wedding ring. I use our jogging stroller to run with Elizabeth about 2.5 miles to a local playground. We play, I do pull-ups on the swing set, and then when we're done, I run us back home. It is the perfect way to get my workout in, spend time with Elizabeth while also allowing her to get some exercise and play outside.

This particular day, upon arriving at the park I decided not to tie my ring through the drawstring of my shorts or through one of my shoelaces. Instead, I put it in my pocket. It was about 15 minutes into our standard 30 that we usually spend at the park when I realized it was gone. I put Elizabeth on a swing and started looking. Unfortunately, dusk had already arrived and so with each passing moment my daylight dwindled. With each passing moment my anxiety increased.

Elizabeth and I spent about 20 more minutes in search of the sign of my love and fidelity. Then, I called Emily. It was perhaps one of the most humbling conversations of my life. She met us there and helped us look. We stayed as a search party of 4 for about 20 more minutes. The dark of night discouraged and discontinued our reconnaissance mission. Emily drove home; Elizabeth and I ran back without my ring.

I spent the rest of the night strategizing my next move. Tampa has one metal detector company. It didn't open until 10:30. Kids could go to the park before 10:30. Maintenance to the playground could be scheduled for the very next day. A squirrel could carry it off to his nest. The more that I thought about it, the more helpless and hopeless I became. I checked for sunrise the next morning and set my alarm for 45 minutes prior. I took a shovel and a laundry basket and headed back before sunrise to maximize the time I would have before the park's first visitors.

I had been there about 75 minutes when the first visitor ran up to the monkey bars. We exchanged greetings and he started to do pull-ups. The man was on his morning jog and seemed to see the same purpose in the playground that I did. Recognizing that my behaviors were a bit odd, I immediately followed up my morning greeting with an explanation of what I was doing. The man proceeded to ask me questions about where it could potentially be located and abandoned his workout to help me comb the area. After about 30 minutes I knew that my efforts without a higher power were in vain. I thanked the gentlemen for staying for so long to help me and told him about my next step.

Prior to departing, he asked me if it would be okay if he prayed for me because whenever he loses something he prays about it and then he finds it. At first I thought his question meant that he would offer up my sad situation later in his day. His next question didn't change the course I had assumed we were following: what's your name.

I was so shocked, though, that he proceeded to pray with me, in the middle of the playground, using my name, Michael, and reassuring me that my ring would be found.

He finished his prayer and the last words he said to me were, "You're going to find it."

I never got his name. I've never seen him at the park since. The memory of this encounter, however, has stayed with me in an extremely poignant way. I get paid to be faithful and faith filled. My job is ultimately one of ministry. I am supposed to profess my faith every day since I am the principal of a Catholic grade school. Yet, before that time I realized that I lacked the conviction to wear my faith on my sleeve regardless of what kind of sleeve that happens to be. I realized that I would not have had the courage to do what this complete stranger did for me that morning. I realized that I need to be as convicted of my faith as this stranger. I realized how much I still have to learn, grow, and become.

I was scared. I was tired. I felt hopeless and helpless. This man offered me his time. He met me where I was that morning in both a physical and spiritual way. Most importantly and powerfully, he comforted my heart through his actions, words and prayer.

And, as the man told me I would, I found my ring.

But that is another whole story.

Capital

This past Wednesday I had the honor to be a part of a group of educators and leaders who travelled to our state capital to meet with the new Commissioner of Education, Mr. Tony Bennett. The purpose of the meeting was to discuss school choice, the Common Core State Standards, and standardized testing as it pertains to private schools within our state. Florida is already one of the most innovative states in our country as it pertains to both school choice and vouchers / tax credit scholarships. Mr. Bennett had former served as Indiana's Superintendent of Public Instruction until being replaced during this past election. Indiana, in part because of the work that Mr. Bennett was able to accomplish in his tenure there, is also one of twelve states to offer school vouchers.

Me outside of the Florida Department of Education in Tallahassee, FL.

Commissioner Bennett did not dance around the topics of school choice or of his offices' support of private education. He stated, "We serve you (private schools), just like we serve 2.7 million public school students." He also declared that one of his goals is to give children the "maximum amount of choices possible." 

As the principal of a Catholic school, just these two statements brought me great excitement and anticipation. He will serve my school in the same way that he serves those within a two mile radius that are public places of education. Furthermore, he supports the right of parents to choose the best educational opportunity for their child(ren). While this will not necessarily mean the cost of education following the student instead of going to a specific school / district, I do believe it means that Commissioner Bennett will fight for more and more state and private dollars to be made available for more and more students to attend the schools of their choice. 

But, this was not what impressed me most about this visit. In the world of education, we can get so wrapped up in so many extraneous things - assemblies, procedures, textbooks, management systems, instructional practices, curricular topics - that we sometimes get distracted from our real purpose. We can become overwhelmed with having too much to do and not enough time or support or energy to do it. In doing so, we can overlook what is truly important in schools: that students are performing at the highest level possible. Commissioner Bennett, who I'm sure has so many "distractions" and "responsibilities", mentioned multiple times how his main goal was doing what was best for children. 

"I do not promote more bad schools."

"I'm not for more or less accountability (for private schools who receive state money). I'm for the right accountability."

"Strip out the stuff that isn't important to get to how kids learn."

"Your job is educating kids. Our job (the Department of Education) is staying out of the way."

Commissioner Bennett seems to have a realistic approach to improving education for all students. He seems to understand that we do not need more regulations and paperwork and things to keep us from focusing on students. At the same time, though, he will demand accountability of all schools to ensure that all students in the state of Florida learn at the highest level possible. 

To me, it seems that Commissioner Bennett has a clear understanding that in addition to offering our students an outstanding education, we in private (and specifically private Catholic) schools also offer our students and families capital - an asset or advantage. 

We offer a top notch education that is coupled with faith development and an emphasis on service. We love, nurture and support our students and value the role that parents and families play in the education of their child(ren). We can educate the whole child: physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. 

May the newest addition to our state capital offer more capital to all students here in the state of Florida. May God bless you and your work in the Sunshine State, Commissioner Bennett. 

Let him begin.  

  

Time to Make the Donuts

In the early 1980's there was a commercial from a well known doughnut company in which the main character was seen waking up in the dark and uttering the words, "Time to make the donuts" even before getting out of bed. This almost robotic pursuit of doughnut making became the company's catch phrase and a series of commercials were released featuring this man who was so dedicated and passionate about making doughnuts.

In conjuring memories of that series of commercials, I have grown in appreciation for the work ethic, drive, and determination of the doughnut baker featured in these spots. Despite the weariness associated with putting out such a consistent and excellent product, the man uses a quiet yet intense strength to continue with his passion. Day and night he immerses himself in the creation of doughnuts. Even though he must be exhausted, he gets out of bed, everyday, and utters the same words, "Time to make the donuts." In an odd way, I find this phrase and this approach incredibly inspiring.

This commercial has been valuable to me because of the motivation I draw from it. However, I had no idea that the commercial and the phrase would take on new meaning this evening.

This evening, my Mom, Linda, gifted our family with a present that she and my Dad purchased before his passing. My Dad loved food. He loved eating food. He loved making food. He loved sharing food. Trying new food. Watching cooking shows on television. If it involved cooking or food, it was for him. He also loved certain foods that I'm sure had some sort of emotional connection for him. He loved the ethnic Easter food that we would get blessed on Holy Saturday - kielbasa, nut roll and poppy seed roll, egg cheese. He loved the Slovak viliya dinner that we would eat every Christmas Eve - pierogies, barley, mushroom soup, potato bread. I assume he valued these foods and meals because of the connection to not only his faith but also, potentially, to the good memories he had of eating them. Family. Friends. Holidays. Gifts. Parties.

Another food that my Dad loved was pumpkin doughnuts. In the fall, he and my Uncle Dave would talk about how their mother would make pumpkin doughnuts and how they absolutely loved them. They reminisced about eating them with over-easy eggs, so that the doughnut could be used to sop up the runny yoke. And, on a handful of autumn weekends throughout my life, either one of them would actually make these doughnuts. This past fall, in having a taste for these treats, my Dad stumbled upon a doughnut maker that would bake instead of fry these cakes. Trying to eat more healthily yet still craving these pumpkin doughnuts, my parents bought the machine and my Dad raved. Immediately, my Mom retells the story, she and Dad went to the store to buy three more for me, my brother and my sister.

It was perhaps one of the most meaningful, beautiful and valuable gifts I have ever received and I took such great joy in making a batch right away. I'm not a fan of doughnuts, and even with them being baked I would have been a reluctant participant if there wasn't an emotional connection to this doughnut maker. I love that it came from my Dad and using it will forever be a way that I can feel close to him.

It's funny what we find valuable. I have no idea how much one of these doughnut maker machines costs and I don't care. To me, it is the most expensive piece of culinary equipment I own. Likewise, I will eat doughnuts (homemade from this machine, of course) because of the connection I will feel to my Dad when I do. When I get bogged down and think of the phrase and the dedicated man behind, "It's time to make the donuts," I won't just think of the commercial and the quiet strength of the doughnut maker. I will think of my Dad.

I'll remember how he loved me with a consistent, passionate and dedicated love. I'll remember how he selflessly did so much for me throughout the course of my life. I'll remember how much he loved doughnuts, especially pumpkin ones, because of how much he loved his mom and family.

I'll remember that a price tag doesn't make something valuable. People make things valuable. Memories make things valuable. Relationships make things valuable. God makes us valuable.

It's time to begin.

It's time to make some doughnuts.